


Say Goodbye To Your Childhood

by anpara



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 9 year age difference, Beach Romance, Beach Vacation, Ben has nice muscles, Ben so tall, F/M, Kind of angsty, Poe and Finn are boyfriends, Rey drinks anyway, Rey is not old enough to drink, Vacation Romance, beach, beach love, lots of pining, loving family, rey and ben
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26429527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anpara/pseuds/anpara
Summary: Rey and Ben's families are best friends.  Each summer throughout their childhood they take an annual beach vacation, but Ben and Rey have never gotten along.  Will that all change this summer when one of them shares a lifelong confession?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 15
Kudos: 63





	1. Ben Solo is the Worst

_Ben Solo is the worst,_ Rey thinks as he and Poe flee the scene of the crime, leaving nothing but small hills of sand at Rey’s tiny feet; small hills that were in the process of becoming beautifully crafted sandcastle spires that were to be decorated with an array of multicolored shells of all rare shapes and sizes that Rey had spent the past week collecting at the water’s edge. She kicks the deteriorated remains of her castle angrily as she watches Ben and Poe diving in and out of the waves. She hopes they drown, or at least she hopes that Ben drowns. 

Poe and Rey’s parents have known Ben’s family for years, way before either of them were born. For as long as Rey can remember, they have taken an annual summer vacation together. Ben and Poe, being around the same age, naturally became instant best friends, leaving Rey behind with the parents. There is also a significant age gap, about 10 years, so it isn’t like Rey would want to hang out with those stupid boys anyway; at least that is what she tells herself. Rey knows she is just as tough, if not tougher than the two of those idiots combined, but who would believe that? Small tiny 5-year-old Rey, stronger than two 14-year-old boys, not likely. 

“Rey honey, don’t let those punks bother you.” Leia smiles as she closes her book and places it gently into her lap. Rey loves Leia, she is like a second mother to her. Leia always knows the right thing to say. “I know you could take ‘em on all by yourself,” She winks, “and one day you just might have to kick both of their asses.”

“Leia! Language, please!” Rey’s mother yelps slapping Leia’s arm gently. Rey rolls her eyes, like she’s never heard a bad word before. Leia says them all the time when Rey stays overnight while her parents are both working 24-hour shifts. 

“Oh right, sorry Doctor Johnson,” Leia laughs as she pretends to sheepishly hide herself behind her book. “You know it’s true though.” Rey hears Leia whisper to her mother. The two women giggle, and Rey returns her attention to the sand at her feet.

 _Ben Solo is the worst_. 

***

Rey is woken up by a loud _thud_ outside her window paired with muffled laugher. She can hear the ocean waves under the hushed voices outside. All these years of coming to the shore, and somehow the sound of the ocean never ceases amaze her. She crawls to the edge of her bed to peek outside her bedroom blinds. Squinting through the darkness, only slightly lit by the moonlight, she can make out two figures. 

“Shh, _SHH_ , they’re going to hear us.” Poe ‘whispers’ loudly, his words somewhat slurring as he knocks into the small side table on the porch.

“You're the one who f-fell you idiot! Probably woke up the whole h-house.” Ben’s deep voice rattles in her ears. Of course, Ben would not take the blame if they did wake the whole house. He is always passing off blame on other people, like Poe. 

Rey quickly throws a sweatshirt on over her tank top, because she is almost 13 now and should not show her “womanly parts” as her mother would say, and she “needs to cover up in front of the boys” now. She tiptoes to the front door and turns the lock. She can hear the boys slurred speech cease as she simultaneously flings the door open and flips the porch light on. She sees the two boys standing in the doorway looking like two disheveled messes and smelling of alcohol and sweat. 

“Hey kid turn that light off.” Ben says squinting as he raises his hand to block the light. His face is practically level with the porch light and Rey takes note of how tall Ben had gotten since the last time she saw him. _Will this guy ever stop growing?_

Poe stands behind Ben, significantly shorter. He pushes passed Ben and into the doorway practically knocking Rey over in the process. “God Rey why are you even up?” He and Rey have recently hit a slight roadblock in their sibling relationship, mostly due to their age difference.

“Oh you know I was just up talking to friends,” She says sarcastically. She rolls her eyes as Poe leans himself against a wall for stability. “You two idiots were so loud you woke me! It’s like 2 in the morning, of course I’d rather be sleeping right now!” She crosses her arms. She can smell the alcohol basically seeping out of Poe’s pores. “You’re wasted.”

“Oh what are you the freaking police, Rey?” He flails his hands around mocking her. “I’m 21 and I can do what I want, sorry you can’t.” He teases, and Rey just rolls her eyes in return. 

“Go to bed Rey,” Ben moves passed her to assist Poe, “I’ll take care of Poe, make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit and all that.” Ben laughs slightly slurring his own words.

“She’s just jealous she can’t drink yet. Tiny baby Rey stuck at home with the parents.” Poe sticks his tongue out at her. _So juvenile_ , Rey thinks. She returns the gesture, because she can. 

“This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen,” Ben scoffs as he turns Poe away and toward the staircase, “Go to bed Rey, you shouldn’t be up this late anyway.”

“You're the ones who woke me!” She raises her voice slightly.

“Hey shut up or you're really going to wake up the old timers.” Ben turns and points his finger at her, very parental of him, _just like his father_. Rey fusses and groans momentarily before turning to return to her own bedroom. 

She lays her head down on her pillow. The clock reads 2:15AM. Her mind is busy, full of thoughts clouded by annoyance and unpleasantries. The last thing she thinks before she drifts back off into sleep…

 _Ben Solo is the worst_.

***

“Mom do I really have to go? All of my friends are going to Florida, are you really going to make me go to the stupid beach with the Solo’s?”

“Hey! It’s not a stupid beach, its tradition! And you love the Solo’s!” Her mother states as she folds up her swimsuit and places it into her suitcase. Rey groans and leans her head on the doorway in response. “We haven’t seen them in a while, I thought you would be excited.” Her mother frowns.

“Hey I’m a grown ass man and I am still going!” Poe says patting her shoulder, “I’m excited, Mom, I love our beach time with the Solo’s!” _Perfect Poe, forever a suck up_. She rolls her eyes only slightly.

“You're like 28 and you have nothing better to do than go on a beach vacation with your parents. That’s just sad.” Rey says shoving his hand off her shoulder jokingly. 

Over the years, Rey and Poe’s sibling relationship troubles eased. Now that Rey was old enough to drink, well almost old enough, things are better. Poe sneaks her drinks at family parties, buys her alcohol for Christmas and holidays, and even got her her first fake ID before she left for college two years ago. “20 is basically 21!” He always says, and Rey agrees.

“I actually just talked to Leia and it turns out Ben was able to get the week off from work, so he is able to come! Isn’t that great?” Their mother tries to contain her excitement. Ben is as much a child to her as Rey and Poe are children to Leia. 

“He’s flying in from Cali?” Poe’s ears perk up, “Oh man I have to text him! Haven’t seen my boy in a minute!” He rummages in his pocket for his phone as he walks back into the living room.

“Mom, you're really going to leave me alone, in the middle of those idiots and the paren-” Rey starts but is cut off by a t-shirt hitting her face.

“You’re going. That’s an order.” She laughs breaking her hardly serious appearance. “Plus Leia will be so thrilled to see you, I’m sure you have plenty of college stories to tell her that I know you won't tell me.” Her mother winks and Rey playfully tosses the t-shirt into the suitcase.

Rey wanders back to her childhood room that is decorated with a mix of star student awards from high school and pictures of college friends. On her desk sits a framed photo of the two families on their last trip together before Ben moved to California. Ben left soon after graduation to work for some big law firm out there, and he has not been able to return to the East Coast since. “A soul sucking job,” Leia called it just weeks before he left. Rey remembers the fight they got into on that last summer vacation. Ben stormed out, practically flipping the dinner table as he went, his father quickly racing behind. Rey recalled the slam of the door and the look that lingered on Leia’s face for the rest of the vacation. Rey had never seen anyone so sad in her entire life. It’s been almost 8 years since Ben has been home now. Who could do something like that to their own parent’s, the people who loved him the most? Rey watched them support him through every stage of life and he just up and left them for this awful job across the country. 

If she knew anything, it is that after all these years, one thing has not changed:

 _Ben Solo is the worst_. 

***

Rey basks in the gloriously warm sun beams that shine from above her. She is grateful for this time to relax before heading back to Boston for her last semester of school. The sound of waves crashing and seagulls squawking strangely brings her peace. Unfortunately, the sun disappears, and the warmth is taken from her without warning. She opens her eyes to see what has disturbed her very peaceful ambiance and her vision is greeted by Ben Solo; just as tall and awkward as she remembers, she rolls her eyes. 

“Hello Rey,” He smiles down at her while she remains seated in her beach chair, “It’s nice to see you again.”

She scoffs at his greeting, “You’re blocking my light.”

“Oh of course, anything for you sweetheart.” Ben smiles as he takes a seat in the chair next to her.

Rey looks over at him quizzically. She studies his profile as he stares off into the ocean in front of them. His strong jawline, his large nose protruding from his face; she takes notes of the many freckles and moles that spot his face. He looks older than she remembered, slightly worn for wear, but when he turns and looks at her, their eyes connect, and it is as if Rey is a young teenage girl again. His eyes pierce into her very soul and she feels a strange warmth resonate in her chest. He reaches over and places his hand on hers. His touch is gentle and kind, and to be honest, kind of confusing.

“I’ve missed you sweetheart.” He moves his hand up her arm and settles it on her cheek, his thumb softly rubbing against her skin. He leans across the space between their beach chairs and places a soft kiss on her nose.

Rey wakes abruptly to the sensation of falling. Her eyes burst open only to be greeted by the darkness of her childhood room and her bedside clock reading 3:30AM. She wipes the sweat from her hairline and places a hand on her chest to feel the beating of her own heart as it pounds loudly against her ribs. Her hand slowly traces its way up to her face, her cheek. She feels a strange feeling linger on her skin as she recalls her sharply ended dream. Her index finger taps at the tip of her nose and she feels herself blush foolishly. Annoyed with her own mind and body, she throws herself back into the comforter and tries to push out all thoughts of Ben Solo from her head. She repeats her favorite phrase until she is asleep.

 _Ben Solo is the worst_ , _Ben Solo is the worst_ , _Ben Solo is the worst_ , _Ben Solo is the worst_ , _Ben Solo is the worst_. 


	2. Reintroduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She watches his mouth slowly chewing the cookie, processing every bit of flavor, and for the briefest moment Rey wonders what Ben’s lips might taste like. Stop it. 
> 
> “Where is everyone?” He asks as he reaches across for another cookie. Rey dips her own second Oreo into the peanut butter, trying to distract herself from his bulging biceps and soft honey eyes. STOP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my slightly long awaited update on this! I've been dragging myself to finish school work before working on more enjoyable things!   
> Hope you like this chapter!

The Johnson family arrives to the beach house first. The outside is painted light blue with pastel pink shutters – very beachy. Inside it is beautifully decorated with an array of shore themed items. The house is much larger than what Rey had become accustomed to for these trips, they have never been the type to splurge and rent a home that was three levels – all with private decks – like this home, not to mention the private access to the beach. 

“We figured the boys will stay in the two bedrooms on the bottom level, since they’re adults,” Rey’s father gestures and laughs at Poe, “Rey will have the bedroom on the main floor so she can have her own privacy as well, plus be right near the kitchen,” he winks at her, knowing her eating habits, “And the _real_ adults will be staying in the two bedrooms upstairs, far away from any ‘young people fun.” He makes an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture at Rey and she laughs it off. _As if she is the trouble making child_. 

Rey makes her way to the main floor as Poe meanders down the hall of the first floor to his own room. She walks up a small staircase and is greeted by magnificent floor to ceiling windows that give the most breathtaking view of the ocean. She drops her bag in the middle of the room and makes her way to the French doors that lead outside to a large deck that is home to a dining table, fire pit, _and_ a hot tub. She figures her parents have already made their way upstairs to unpack – she doesn’t mind the alone time. The warm salty air hits her skin and she breathes it in deeply, trying to get as much of it as she can into her lungs. A slight breeze tousles her hair gently as she makes her way to the edge of the deck. Placing her hands on the freshly glazed wooden ledge, she closes her eyes and leans forward feeling the sun hit her skin. _Nothing is better than this_ , she thinks. Although she would have liked to be with her friends in Florida, she had to admit that the beach has always been her favorite get away from life’s troubles. “Nothing a little saltwater can’t fix,” her dad always says, and in this moment right here, Rey is sure he is right. 

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the doors opening behind her. 

“You know, you really shouldn’t leave your bags in the middle of the floor honey; some old lady may fall over them and break a hip!” _Leia_. Rey makes her way across the deck toward her and wraps the older woman in a loving embrace. Her second mother, maybe even her preferred mother. 

“I’m so happy to see you!” Rey says still holding Leia tightly. She smells of vanilla and sea salt with just a hint of whiskey, just as Rey remembered. 

“Oh, sweetheart it’s been too long since we’ve done a trip like this. Indiana sucks!” She laughs breaking away from their embrace. Han and Leia moved to Indiana about four years ago because of Leia’s job. The organization she works is based out of Indiana and once Leia was promoted, and Ben was out of the picture, they asked her to relocate. Han, a pilot could work anywhere, so of course he did not mind, but Leia had lost her son and her second family all in a matter of a few short years. Rey is positive she could ever be as strong as Leia. 

“Mom is upstairs,” she smiles, “I’m sure she is going to be so excited to see you!”

“I’m gonna go scare the crap out of her!” Leia snickers as she turns back and heads inside. Rey watches her sneakily make her way up the staircase. She turns back to face the ocean and faintly hears shouts of glee and happiness from inside. Their girlish squeals make Rey smile, although her joy is met with the slightest tinge of jealousy that she never developed a “best friend” type of friendship that her mother and Leia had. 

After a few more minutes outside, Rey remember her dropped bags in the middle of the living room. She moves through the living space and swiftly picks up her floral designed duffle from the ground. She makes her way down the hallway to the left, stopping to admire the beautiful pastel colored paintings of the ocean that flank a large mirror with a table underneath that is home to a sign that says, “What happens at the beach, Stays at the beach”. Rey catches a glimpse of herself in the reflection, hair slightly disordered from the ocean breeze, her freckles only just beginning to appear. She tugs at the bottom of her white tank top that had separated from her jean shorts, showing a little too much of her midriff than necessary for a family vacation. She smooths the shirt and continues down the hall to her bedroom. Pushing open the door, she laid eyes on a generously sized room with an even larger bed. A quaint wicker dresser is placed flush against the left wall opposite the queen-sized bed. In the corner is a matching wicker chair with a seashell themed cushion that sits under a painting of a seagull standing peacefully at the water’s edge. 

Rey drops her bag onto the chair and sits at the foot of her bed, slowly laying back and staring up to the ceiling, relishing in the solitude. She reaches her arms outward, but she barely can reach the edges of the mattress; a nice change from her college dorm twin size bed. Downstairs she can hear Poe FaceTiming with Finn, his boyfriend who is currently on holiday in England visiting his family. Finn is about Rey’s age which was surprising at first, considering Poe always vowed never to date a younger man, but something “just clicked with the two of them” according to Poe, and Rey calls that “Fate”, _if Fate is even a real thing_ , a small part of her chimes in. She wonders how her idiot, travel hungry, military pilot brother managed to settle down before her; granted yes, she is barely 21, and yes, Rey has not been in a serious relationship outside of that one boy she dated in high school for barely six months and broke up with right after prom, but she has always seen herself as more mature and relationship ready than Poe. _Isn’t she?_

A few moments pass before she realizes how strongly she is frowning just at the thought of it all. Shaking her head, she tries to clear her mind as she turns on her side to face the window. The room has the same amazing view of the ocean as the living room did. She stares blankly out into the waves crashing as she places her hand against her cheek to prop herself up. The gesture, though a common movement, reminds Rey of the dream she had just the night before. _Ben_. She had almost forgotten he would be coming…why has he not arrived yet? She figured he would be arriving with his family. Rey shakes her head again clearing her mind of the thought of him. _Unimportant_. 

“I need a snack.” She says out loud to herself, convincing her brain to think of something other than Ben Solo in a swimsuit - not that she cares what Ben Solo looks like in a swimsuit - not like she hasn’t looked at Ben Solo in a swimsuit her entire life. 

She ungracefully hurls herself out of bed and makes her way out into the hallway toward the kitchen. The house has gone strangely quiet and she assumes that the adults have gone out for an afternoon walk on the beach and Poe must be taking his FaceTime call outside on the bottom level patio. The only sound she hears is her stomach growling. Luckily for Rey, this house also came fully stocked with a variety of snacks and drinks. Rey grabs a container of Oreos from the top shelf and pairs it with a jar of peanut butter that catches her eye. Oreos and peanut butter; a strange food habit she picked up from a kid at school when she was about 4 or 5. Everyone in her family teases her for it, even calling it ungodly, but _old habits die hard_ , she shrugs at herself looking down at the items in her arms.

“I see you're still into strange food combinations.”

_THUD._

The plastic jar of peanut butter hits the white tiled floor as Rey whips around in fright. Her startled gaze is met by the ever-monotone stare of the one and only, Ben Solo. Although, if she looks hard enough, perhaps she sees the slightest grin on his face. Of course he would get joy out of that fact that he scared her so much that she dropped an entire jar of peanut butter. She watches the corners of his mouth upturn marginally and she finds her gaze slowly moving around his face. Rey recalls her dream and the way his face looked in the sunlight. His hair is longer than she remembers, ears still poking out slightly, he seems taller as well, and maybe even…kind of buff? Ben Solo moved to California and got muscles? Really big muscles actually…ones that are practically bulging through his stupid green t-shirt…arms that look like they could crush her – not that she is thinking about him wrapping his arms around her or being so close to her…not like that at least. 

Ben turns his head to look behind him, as if there were anyone else in the house and Rey realizes she was practically drooling at Ben’s massive arms for who even knows how long. She clears her throat briefly as she reaches down to retrieve the peanut butter jar from the ground. She takes that small moment on the ground, behind the massive kitchen island, to compose herself. _It’s just Ben, we hate Ben. Ben is the worst;_ she thinks to herself. She quickly pops back up from behind the island and Ben is still standing awkwardly in the open space between the living room and the kitchen. He is carrying a very bland – very expensive looking travel bag that does not quite match his casual jeans and t-shirt look. 

“Nice bag.” Rey scoffs. Both the Solo and the Johnson families have always had money, but Rey was not the boastful type, she was not raised to be, _neither was he_. Rey would never be caught dead carrying an overly priced travel bag like that. ‘It’s just unnecessary’, as her mother would say.

Ben looks uncomfortably at his bag before turning around and heading into the living room to place it on the nearest couch – out of sight. As he leaves, Rey opens up the sleeve of Oreos and places the jar of peanut butter on the granite countertop that separates her and Ben. When she sees Ben begin to turn toward the kitchen, she aggressively dips an Oreo into the jar as he makes his way to the opposite side of the island. He leans his forearms onto the counter – making himself smaller – and reaches one hand across to grab an Oreo from the package. Rey finds herself, once again, staring at his arms. The way his veins are just popping out and – _oh my god stop it right now_. She quickly shoves the Oreo into her mouth to keep from saying anything stupid or even worse, drooling over Ben Solo’s newfound bicep muscles. He lets out a soft laugh as he takes a gentle bite from his own, un-peanut buttered Oreo. 

She watches his mouth slowly chewing the cookie, processing every bit of flavor, and for the briefest moment Rey wonders what Ben’s lips might taste like. _Stop it_. 

“Where is everyone?” He asks as he reaches across for another cookie. Rey dips her own second Oreo into the peanut butter, trying to distract herself from his bulging biceps and soft honey eyes. _STOP_.

“Poe is downstairs, I think talking to his boyfriend. The parents are…out for a walk?” She pauses and takes note of his slight wince at the word parents. “I’m not sure, we only got here maybe an hour ago.”

Ben tosses his hand through his hair and Rey wonders if he uses some special shampoo and conditioner to make it look so soft and bouncy. _NO_. Maybe she would ask him what products he uses, you know, for healthy hair purposes. She leans her forearms onto the counter as she grabs another cookie.

“When’s the last time you saw your parents?” The words fall out of her mouth so casually before her brain even processes the question.

Ben stops mid reach and looks up at her, square in the eyes. She thinks her soul may have just left her body. If looks could kill, she would be dead, laying cold on this beautifully polished white tile floor of the kitchen. Ben readjusts himself back into a standing position, any physical sense of comfort vanishing like cotton candy being doused in liquid, causing Rey to notice again how tall he is. “I FaceTime them when I can. Different time zones can be difficult.” He says sternly, his face stone cold as if he has just placed on a mask.

“Oh.” Is the only word she can manage to say before she decided to awkwardly shove another peanut butter covered Oreo into her mouth. “Your room is downstairs.” She mutters awkwardly with her mouth full. Ben nods and grabs his lavish bag off the couch before heading down the stairs. She watches him go, admiring the broadness of his back in the process. 

_This is going to be a long week_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo!! Hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter!   
> I love when you love my work! I love reading comments :)   
> any feedback is always appreciated!   
> Give me a follow on twitter @anpara4 if you'd like!


	3. I’ve Got A Bad Feeling About This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben, holding three beers in one hand already – his hands are so big…why are they so big - grabs the wine bottle off the island with his other hand and makes his way into the living room. Rey raises her glass to meet the bottle and she takes note of how his hand seems to wrap almost entirely around the bottle. 
> 
> “Just say when.” He smiles as he looks into her eyes and Rey feels her cheeks growing warmer and her arm slowly morphing into jelly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AT LAST! An update for this fic!  
> I have been so busy with school, only 2 months left!  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Rey remained in the kitchen enjoying her Oreos until the adults came back looking very lovey and paired up like a bunch of high schoolers do while away on a prom weekend. Rey only rolls her eyes halfheartedly as she curls up tighter onto the couch facing the windows with a glorious view of the beach.

“How was your walk?”

“Oh it was lovely,” Her mother smiles, “so much to catch up on.” She grabs Leia’s arm, the one not reaching for a fresh bottle of wine.

“Wine?” Leia shouts through the half open French door. Han and her father remain outside chatting. Han gives an approving wave to Leia and Rey watches her mother collect four wine glasses from the shelf.

Rey stands and makes her way to the island where Leia is uncorking the freshly chilled bottle of Pinot Grigio. “Mom, you're missing a glass.” She smiles leaning onto the countertop while her mother shakes her head.

“No there’s only four adults here.”

“Oh Ann, let the girl have a damn glass of wine! She’s practically 30!”

Her mother frowns, “Leia she’s not even 21 yet, she -” 

“But I will be in August!” Rey chimes in happily knowing Leia is always there to take her side.

“See! Only a month and a half away! That’s nothing! I remember we used to let Benny drink when he was, oh I don’t know, maybe 11!” Leia laughs as a memory flashes in her eyes.

“Probably not your finest parenting moment, Mom.” Ben’s deep voice reverberates in Rey’s ears as she straightens up, _wouldn’t want to be leaning over the countertop with Ben around, not very appropriate,_ one side of her brain thinks. _Or is me leaning over the countertop exactly what we want Ben to be thinking about?_ The other side of her brain counters. _Oh my god_. 

“Ben! Why didn’t you tell me when you got here!” Leia practically drops the wine bottle as she rushes around the island and toward Ben. He bends down _significantly_ as she wraps her arms around him, his tall stature dwarfing tiny Leia, making her look even smaller than she normally does. Rey turns and smiles at her mother who has tears welling in her eyes as she pours five glasses of wine. Her mother was there for Leia during the worst times. Those first two years after Ben left were probably the hardest years of Leia’s life. To lose contact with your only son, your only child, Rey can only imagine the despair she must have felt. 

From the looks of their embrace, still going on behind her, Rey assumes they have somehow managed to make up, but Rey wonders if maybe this is the first time they have seen each other since that awful September day 8 years ago. Leia finally breaks from their embrace, wiping tears from her eyes. Much to Rey’s surprise, even calm cool and collected Ben appears slightly misty eyed. 

“You should – go say hello to your father. He’s outside.” Leia gestures to the door where Han and her father stand on the deck. Ben nods and makes his way passed Rey, giving her a brief smile as he heads to the opposite side of the island to greet her mother. 

“Hi Ann,” Ben says as he initiates another embrace. _Ben in very huggy today_ , _that’s not like him._ Her mother welcomes him with open arms.

“Oh Ben, it is so good to see you again,” She says teary eyed, “let’s not let it go this long ever again.” Ben chuckles, knowing that is not a promise he can keep. She releases him and shoos him on his way out the door. 

“I think I’m going to need a heavier pour, Ann.” Leia chokes out as she wipes the remaining tears from her eyes. 

Before her mother can grab the bottle, it is in Rey’s hand, filling Leia’s glass practically to the brim. She also adds a generous amount to her own glass while her mother is not looking. The women make their way to the couches to have some girl time. Poe, who had “thankfully missed the reunion tears” greeted Leia before making his way outside with the men. Poe likes to act like he is not sensitive but deep down, Rey knows the truth about him. He loves a good chick flick, a cold glass of wine, and believes in the power of having a ‘good cry’ every once in a while. 

“So Rey,” Leia says eagerly as she makes herself comfortable on the couch across from Rey, “Tell me all about school! How’s Boston? Do you have a lot of friends? Do you party a lot? Do you have a boyfriend?”

Rey laughs at the multi-question sentence, “Boston is great actually! I’ve really enjoyed it, although I am happy to be done soon. I have a nice group of friends, we party a little,” she whispers slightly and winks at Leia, her mother smiles slyly as she takes another sip of her wine.

“And a boyfriend?” Leia presses on the question that Rey wanted to try to avoid.

“No, no,” Rey laughs shaking her head, “no boyfriend here.” Just as she speaks those words, Ben walks through the door, his black hair slightly disarranged by the sea breeze. His eyes linger on her only for a moment before he continues into the kitchen, breaking the tension that perhaps only Rey felt.

“Just grabbing some beers, don’t mind me,” He waves for them to ignore his presence, _as if that were possible_ , “Do you ladies need anything?”

“I think Rey needs some more wine, Benny!” Leia says over her shoulder, “Her glass is looking a little too empty.”

“Leia I don’t think-” Her mother starts.

“Nonsense, what better place to drink than in the safety of parents…and doctors!” Leia adds joyfully. Her mother knows there is no use fighting Leia. 

Ben, holding three beers in one hand already – _his hands are so big…why are they so big_ \- grabs the wine bottle off the island with his other hand and makes his way into the living room. Rey raises her glass to meet the bottle and she takes note of how his hand seems to wrap almost entirely around the bottle. 

“Just say when.” He smiles as he looks into her eyes and Rey feels her cheeks growing warmer and her arm slowly morphing into jelly. 

_Keep it together. He’s just pouring you wine for Christ sake_. “Um, that’s good thank you.” Rey manages to mumble as she diverts her eyes away from his face, unfortunately, or _fortunately_ , her eyes are level with a more below the waist view. _Were his jeans this tight before or?_ She panics for a moment and turns quickly in her armchair as she takes a large gulp of wine from her glass. From the corner of her eye she thinks she may see her mother and Leia exchange a look that Rey hopes Ben is conveniently choosing to ignore. He makes his way back outside to reunite with the men, but not before Leia grabs the bottle from his hand and fills her own glass to the brim.

“So Rey, with no boyfriend” Leia leans in toward her, newly filled wine glass in hand, “any sexy men in your life?”

Rey snorts loudly, scoffing at her own lack of a love life before she firmly state, ‘no’, to which Leia responds with a look of disappointment and a slight scold that she should be enjoying her young life. It’s not that Rey does not want a boyfriend, she has had plenty of _almost_ boyfriends, at least she thinks that’s what they were. College hook ups that lasted more than a month or so that made her begin to fantasize about what it would be like to say “I love you”. Of course, those flings only lasted long enough for Rey to realize that she was not the only girl they were talking to. She wasn’t special. She was no one to them. Just another score on their never-ending list of victories and racy stories that would be passed around testosterone filled rooms later that week. 

“College boys are just,” Rey groans just thinking about the last boy she was almost dating. They had met at a house party off campus, Rey was taking shots with a friend when he came over carrying a fresh bottle of tequila. Naturally they ended up making out and the next thing she remembered was waking up in an empty bed that was not her own. He had texted her a few times after that to hang out, but even if it was to grab dinner somewhere, that was just a precursor for a night of drinking and expected sex, Rey knows that now. 

“Aw Rey,” Leia smiles softly after a few moments, “you’re so young, you have all the time in the world!” She takes a sip of her wine before taking a quick glance outside at the deck. “One day someone will just hit you like lightening, they’ll knock the air right out of your lungs, and you’ll wonder how you ever survived without them.” 

Leia and Han never had the perfect marriage, Rey knew that, but they loved one another unconditionally, no matter what. 

Rey hums in response as she takes a sip of her wine. She mulls over the words of wisdom that Leia has just bestowed upon her. _Someone who will knock the air out of her lungs?_ That sounds terrible. Love in itself is a foreign concept to Rey. Of course she loves her family, loves the Solo’s, but other than that, nothing. For a quick moment she feels a hollowed-out piece of her chest expand and she wonders if she will ever find someone to love and have love her in return. The thought is too overwhelming, and she takes another gulp of her wine to numb the thought as she tunes back into her mother and Leia’s conversation about the interior design process of Leia’s home in Indiana. 

***

“So Ben, how’s Cali been treating you?” Poe asks eagerly as he takes a swig from his beer bottle, “Are you just constantly dating a new beautifully tanned, tall, blonde woman?” He tease nudging Ben’s arm.

Han grips Ben’s shoulder proudly, “If you're anything like your old man, which I think you are,” He winks, “I’m sure Ben has dated plenty of tall blonde women.” 

Dr. Johnson chimes in, “If you are anything like your father Ben, I hope you're being safer than he was back in the day.” The two older men laugh, reminiscing on a simpler time of their lives. Ben winces only slightly, his lips pressed firmly together before he responds.

“No,” He says flatly. Ben has never been one to talk about his dating life, if he can even call it a life at all. 

“You’ve been gone for like 10 years and you're telling me you haven’t met a single stereotype Cali blonde?” Poe sounds outraged, “What are you doing man? Living under a rock!?”

“Blondes aren’t really my type.” Ben deadpans. Poe raises his eyebrows and chuckles; Ben did not intend his statement to be funny. 

“Alright, alright, you like the Brunettes, I see how it is. Still haven’t caught up to the Cali vibes yet, I get it.” He raises his hands in defense, “But please tell me you’ve had some kind of _something_ over there.” He pushes, Ben has always been especially reluctant to disclose personal information about his “love life” to Poe.

“I work a lot…” His voice trails as he raises the beer bottle to his lips and stares out into the ocean waves. He truly does prefer Brunettes, although even the Brunettes in California are as fake as the Blondes. Everything is fake there; the women, the friendships, the work environments, the idealized lifestyle of California relaxation – none of it is real. Ben _hates_ it there. “What about you Dameron? That’s what your pilot buddies call you now isn’t it?” Ben tries desperately to get the attention off himself.

Poe chuckles at the nickname, “Ah inside joke with the guys,” he rubs his face with the slightest pang of embarrassment, “No one even calls me Poe anymore.”

“I’m still going to call you Poe.” Ben smiles smugly as he takes another sip of his beer. The older men agree whole heartedly stating that _Dameron_ will never catch on within the family and that Poe should get used to it.

The banter shifts to discussions of general surgery and piloting adventures while Ben’s brain floats lazily in and out of the conversation. He cannot help but think of how he ended up back here, right where he started; the beach. This is where he had his first kiss, got drunk for the first time, contemplated for hours alone on the sand about what path he wanted to take in his own life, bucked up enough courage and told his family he would be moving to California, where he got into one of the biggest arguments of his life with his mother about the First Order…He never thought he would find himself back here…with his family, with the Johnson’s, with Rey – _wait what?_

***

Dinner time comes and the families all join together at the large kitchen table with a view of the ocean. Rey is seated next to Poe and across from Leia, Ben, and her mother. Ben sits awkwardly in between the two women, his massive stature making them appear so small that Rey has to hold back giggles every time she looks across the table. She watches Ben quietly enjoy his meal while the conversation around him transpires. It seems to be an unspoken but understood rule to _not_ ask Ben how work has been going. The poor thing looks uncomfortable enough, Rey cannot imagine what it would be like to even utter the words First Order at this table right now. She imagines it would be as it was the last time, a disaster. 

Instead the conversation is as light and airy as the ocean breeze. Recollections of past trips and stories of their children’s youthful shenanigans delight the adults and embarrasses the now grown children. Rey groans at the retell of her 7th birthday meltdown where she fell off her bike and broke her wrist all because she wanted to keep up with the boys. Poe laughs wildly, recalling the screaming fit she had running after them and the dramatic stomping she used to do as a child. Ben chuckles softly under his breath and Rey feels her face growing warmer with embarrassment as she takes another sip from her freshly filled wine glass, thanks to Leia. Rey’s father takes her gesture as a signal and gently ushers the adults from the table.

“Oh your father is dismissing us!” Leia giggles, “Don’t worry, our fun won't stop here! We old timers have a private deck upstairs so you younglings can hang around downstairs without us bothering you too much!” Rey laughs as the two couples make their way up the stairs. She hears the door close on the level above them as she readjusts and begins to gather the soiled dishes from the table. 

“Here, let me help you.” Ben says gently as he stands from his chair and begins stacking plates on top of one another. 

“Oh no that’s okay,” Rey starts, “You and Poe go relax outside or something, I’m good!” She brushes off his help kindly.

“Actually, I promised Finn I would call him,” Poe said waving his phone and Rey knows damn well that is just an excuse to get out of cleaning dishes. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me! Enjoy cleaning!” He chuckles to himself as he fiddles with his phone making his way downstairs, leaving Rey and Ben alone. 

Rey shifts her weight awkwardly, dirty plates still in her hands while she exchanges a gentle yet uncomfortable smile at Ben, who mimics the action. She turns and places the dishes in the sink, taking a deep breath before turning back to the table to retrieve more plates. Perhaps she turned just a little too quickly. A mostly empty wine glass tetters out of Ben’s grip, splashing the remains onto his green t-shirt. Rey, shocked by her sudden close proximity to Ben’s chest, frantically apologizes and turns to grab a paper towel to treat the stain. 

“Rey,” He grabs her wrist gently but with enough force to turn her body back to face his, “It’s alright. It’s only a t-shirt after all.” He lets out a loose laugh and Rey tries to do the same, but her mind is still focused on the way his fingers are gripped around her wrist – focused on the way this new closeness has brought the scent of his cologne to float around her, muting her sense to anything else happening. She shifts her arm slightly and Ben immediately releases her from his grip.

“Sorry,” He mumbles as he puts some distance between their bodies. Rey hands him the paper towel she had retrieved and smiles.

“Hey, at least it wasn’t red wine!” She tries to act as normal as possible but the place where his fingers touched her skin still seems to burn. 

He smiles as he pats the stain from his shirt before reaching passed her to place the wine glass next to the sink. His bicep nearly brushes against her face and as he reaches. The air shifts around Rey and – _his cologne_. It smells like a mix of exotic florals and black plums soaked in rum. The scent seeps into her brain, causing her vision to go blurry. She suddenly feels lightheaded. 

Rey shifts to place her hand onto the countertop to stabilize herself. Has she really not been around a good smelling man in so long? _What on Earth is happening?_ Ben must notice her strange shift of mental state because before she knows it, he has grabbed her tiny upper arms in his massive hands to steady her – she must have been swaying.

“Hey kid, you alright?” He shrugs down to her height, hands still wrapped around her arms. 

Rey is afraid to look up, for fear of making contact with those honey eyes of his. Practically passing out because someone smells so utterly amazing, _how embarrassing_. Instead she focuses her gaze on the wine stained spot on his t-shirt. It clings slightly to his skin and her mind wanders, wondering what his body looks like under that shirt. _NO!_ Not again. She breathes out and holds her breath as to not trap the scent in her body where it may linger for hours, if it hasn’t already made a home in her mind. 

“Sorry,” She blinks dazedly, “Must just be the wine.” She waves her hand to shoo him away from her face and shrugs off his grip before turning to the sink to splash some cold water on her face. _Snap out of it, this is Ben, we hate Ben, remember? We hate Ben. Selfish Ben. Ben who has never been nice to you. Ben who left his family behind. Ben who is arrogant, and rude, and…acting weird_. 

“Jeez kid, maybe we really shouldn’t let you drink.” He chuckles as he returns to the table to retrieve the remaining items used for dinner. 

As Rey wipes the water from her newly cooled skin, she turns and observes Ben as he reaches across the large table with ease to grab a pile of used napkins. She takes a deep breath only to realize the scent of him is still trapped in her nose. She tries to ignore the way it makes her feel.

_I’ve got a bad feeling about this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Ben thinking about Rey as much as she thinks about him? You'll have to wait and see!   
> Hope you liked this chapter! 
> 
> I love your feedback and support :)
> 
> Also go follow me on twitter @anpara4


	4. Beach Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is this as weird for you as it is for me?” A breeze blows and she adjusts her ponytail under her hat as to secure it from blowing away. 
> 
> “What? This walk or the entire trip thus far?”
> 
> “Both?” Rey questions slightly. She thinks she hears him chuckle at her side slightly under his breath. The sound does something to her – twists her stomach into knots – or butterflies? Rey is unsure.

“BEACH DAY!”

Rey is woken up by the sound of her mother’s voice ringing through the house. She slowly opens her eyes, giving herself a chance to adjust to the brightness of the room. Rey had slept unspeakably well last night considering her mind was still reeling with thoughts of green t-shirts clinging to skin and the scent of plumes still tickling her nose. 

Downstairs, she can hear her mother knocking on the boy’s doors and telling them to get ready. Rey dramatically removes the covers from her body as she sits up, staring at her morning image in the vanity mirror opposite the bed. Her hair is a tangled mess, slight smudges of yesterday’s mascara darkens her under eyes, but her oversized t-shirt only looks slightly wrinkled. _Where did she even get this shirt?_ She doesn’t even like Pink Floyd. 

She shrugs off the thought, assuming the shirt came into her possession through one of her roommates at school, as she made her way out into the living room and kitchen area. Of course she made sure to pull out that messy slept on bun before presenting herself at the breakfast table, for no particular reason though… _nope, no reason at all_.

The smell of bacon quickly lures the boys from their rooms and Rey barely has time to greet Leia in the kitchen before she turns and her eyes are completely assaulted by the scene of Ben Solo sporting very messy morning hair, black cotton sleep pants, and – NO SHIRT?!

Rey averts her eyes so quickly that she almost snaps her neck. She stares blankly at the cabinet in front of her, so sure that if she were to turn back and look upon him, she would absolutely be blushing like a stupid school girl. Leia turns at the sound of Ben’s morning greeting, only to chastise him for his foolish appearance.

“Benjamin! Please,” She half-jokingly says as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. “This isn’t your private home, there are women present!” She nudges Rey in the side as a joke, almost causing her to spill the orange juice she’s been trying so hard to focus on pouring.

Poe, who has made his way up the stairs, chimes in because, _of course he does_. “Whoa there, don’t you think it’s a little early for that? Save it for the ladies that matter!” He jokes slapping Ben on the back before making his way to the stovetop where Leia is frying the bacon. Poe gently lifts a piece out of the pan and drops it into his mouth, partially burning his tongue. 

“I – I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize…guess I’m not completely awake yet.” He pauses then laughs slightly to himself as he mutters, “Damn jet lag.” 

Before Ben can even turn to make it down the staircase, Han makes his way down the upstairs steps. “Hey now kid, put that stuff away, we got ladies in the house!” Leia laughs in turn as Ben grumbles, frantically rushing back to his room to retrieve a shirt. 

When Ben’s presence is finally gone from the room, Rey realizes how tightly she had been gripping the glass of orange juice that she had poured, hyper focused as she counted the bubbles that had accumulated at the edge. She breathes a sigh and loosens her grip before turning to bring her glass and the juice carton to the table. 

“Hey what’s all the commotion going on down here?” Rey’s mother and father make their way down the stairs, already dressed in swimsuits and hats, ready for the beach.

“Ben came to breakfast without a shirt on so naturally,” Poe grabs another piece of bacon from the plate Leia has placed in front of him.

“So naturally we all teased the crap out of him.” Han chuckles as he too reaches across the table for a slice of bacon. 

Rey sits silently, frantically tapping her foot on the tiled floor and drumming her nails against the glass. Poe shoves her gently snapping her out of her hyper fixated trance.

“You good? Did the sight of Ben half naked really scar you that badly?” Poe laughs and Rey takes the opportunity to downplay the strange reaction her body is feeling.

“Ugh, yes.” She plays, “I’m utterly traumatized by the sight of _pale_ Ben Solo. The only person on the face of the Earth to live in California and still be so _white_. Practically blinded me.” Poe laughs in agreement as she quickly raises the glass to her lips. 

As she tilts her head back, she sees Ben has made his way back up the stairs. The look on his face tells that he heard every word she said, and some part of her feels glad that he did, while the other begs her to apologize to his sad puppy eyes. 

“Oh Ben good, now that you're decent, come and enjoy some breakfast with the rest of the civilized tenants of this home.” Mr. Johnson joins in on the teasing and Ben tries to play along like a good sport, being the son of Han Solo will teach you a thing or two about that. 

Everyone continues on with their morning, sitting and enjoying the variety of eggs that Leia has made for them. Ben takes a seat at the table across from Rey. _Great, perfect, amazing_. She keeps her eyes focused on the now empty glass in front of her as she reaches her hand forward to retrieve the orange juice carton. Her grip is met by a warm touch over hers and her eyes flicker up. For what feels like an eternity, she stares into Ben Solo’s eyes – warm honey colored eyes that are still slightly altered by sleep. He release his hand first and Rey shoots her hand back into her lap, her mind reeling from the stupidest amount of contact. 

No one else at the table seems to have noticed, they are all on their own conversation paths. Leia and her mother are discussing what they would like to pack for lunch on the beach, and the men are exchanging stories of pilot adventures and OR cases. When Rey looks back at Ben, she is surprised to find his eyes still watching her. She nervously brushes the hair from her face, hoping she does not look too disheveled from her peaceful night of sleep. Ben quickly moves his gaze to her empty glass.

“Here,” He reaches for the carton of juice once more, and this time Rey takes note of how his hands practically dwarf the XL carton. He extends his arm across the table and refills her glass. Rey mumbles a polite thank you as she stares into the orange liquid. _I don’t even really like orange juice_ ; she thinks as she places the cup to the side of her plate. Instead she turns her attention to the family style assortment of food on the table. This morning’s events have made her hungrier than normal. 

The rest of breakfast proceeds as any normal family meal would, with lots of chatter and lots more teasing of shirtless Ben. 

***

“We’re leaving with you slowpokes!” 

Rey can hear Han yell as he shuts the door to the deck. She is still trying to decide which bathing suit to wear; it has to be something cute but not too revealing because she is with her family after all. The choice has made its way down to two options; a red bikini with small flowers and vines, or a blue bikini with a floral design and a small ruffle on the top. _Does she really like flowers this much?_

Peeking out the window she can see most of the house guests making their way down the private beach access path. Pressured, she grabs the red suit and puts it on as quickly as possible before throwing on a casual white t-shirt style cover up that falls at about her mid-thigh. Rey grabs her beach towel from the wicker chair and moves hastily out the door and into the hallway. 

More focused on catching up with everyone else who has already gone, she barely hears the noise of footsteps coming up the stairs. Before she can process what has happened, she slams right into Ben’s side, her head colliding with his shoulder. She staggers back a few steps, air knocked out of her lungs, eyes blurry from the hit.

“Oh Jesus,” She hears Ben say in a voice louder than his normal tone, “I’m sorry!”

She’s rubbing her nose and can see him stepping toward her. Her mind is blurry, her body reactions are slowed. He grabs her wrist, removing her hand from her face, exposing her flushed skin and watered eyes. 

“Fuck, are you crying?” The look of concern that washes over his face is criminal. No one should ever look that good when they’re upset.

“What? No! You slammed into me!” She wipes her eyes to try and dry them. “It’s a natural reaction to being knocked in the face!” She pushes passed him toward the kitchen to retrieve some ice; he follows her closely.

“Let me get that for you,” He’s standing behind her as she reaches for the freezer door and she feels as trapped by his massive arms as she did last night.

“No, please, I’m okay.” She states bluntly, feeling her face flush even more by his proximity. She can almost feel his chest resting against her back. She shakes the feeling as she aggressively pulls the door open, shoving his body away from hers.

Ben takes the hint and steps back. When she finally decides on which bag of frozen vegetables to place on her nose, she turns around and is greeted by Ben leaning against the kitchen island, arms crossed and wearing a slightly amused look. He sports a plain white t-shirt today and black swim shorts; _as bland as ever_ , she thinks. He just stands there, smiling at her. 

“What is so funny?” She grits as she adjusts the cold pack on her face.

“Oh nothing,” He smiles slyly, “I just don’t remember you ever being the type to seek any kind of aid when you're injured.”

“I’m not injured!” She quickly removes the ice from her face, swiftly tossing it back into the freezer. “Ice will just prevent swelling. Swelling _you_ caused with your absurdly large fucking body!” She immediately regrets the words that fall out of her mouth. Ben’s smile vanishes. 

“It was just a joke,” He says flatly, “Relax.”

Unsure whether what she said made him uncomfortable or insecure, she feels a pit grow at the bottom of her stomach. She pulls her sunglasses out from her bag before mumbling, “Let’s just go.”

Rey makes her way outside and is thankful for some fresh air. Ben follows, gently closing the door behind them. 

The pair walk in silence. Rey curses her parents for always insisting on placing their beach chairs directly next to the water. This walk of torture feels as if it will go on forever with no end or beach chairs in sight. Finally, the silence shatters.

“So how’s school?” She hears Ben’s voice travel through the breeze passed her ear, he is a couple of steps behind her, “You’re almost done right?”

“Yes.” She states. A few seconds pass and she regrets her bluntness, “This will be my last semester.”

“That’s great,” He must have started taking larger steps, _or normal steps for him_ , because he has caught up to her and they are now walking side by side. “You’re going for physical therapy, right?”

Rey frowns, of course he does not know what her major is. He has always been too consumed with his own accomplishments. “Nursing.”

“Oh right…” His voice trails off, presumably sensing her annoyance.

Silence ensues again for what feels like an eternity. They have finally made it to a section of the beach where other patrons have set up their tents and chairs; at last, an end this awful walk is near.

They trudge through the hot sand in silence for a few more minutes before Rey spots their families. They have set up post right next to the water, as Rey had expected. The sight of their rainbow umbrella tunneled into the sand has never brought her so much joy. 

***

Hours had passed since their arrival and neither Ben nor Rey had spoken a word to one another. Although no one else had seemed to notice the awkwardness, Rey could not help but feel a pair of eyes watching her from behind a pair of black sunglasses throughout the day. She first noticed it when she removed her cover up. She noticed Ben stopped mid-reach as he was grabbing a water from the cooler. She noticed again as she was applying a second layer of sunscreen, that Ben had looked up from his book, practically stopped mid-page turn actually, as she rubbed sunscreen onto her freckled shoulders. 

_Why’s he acting so weird?_

She knows it has been a while since they have seen each other, but all his distracted attention is making her question if maybe there is just something _wrong_ with the way she looks. Maybe he thought she would be prettier now that she has grown up. Or maybe he thought she would be smarter, or that she would have changed her major to something more profitable. Maybe he wishes she wasn’t on this trip at all. Rey quickly tries to brush those thoughts out of her mind, knowing full well that she is a beautiful and smart young woman, and she does not need any man’s approval, especially _Ben fucking Solo_. 

With the sun rising to the middle of the sky, Rey is thankful that she decided to bring a hat. She riffles through her beach bag and pulls out a black hat with white cursive words that say, “Bad Hair Day” and decided to take her book out as well. Some romance novel Finn suggested actually. A story of unrequited love where the two main characters existed on separate sides of 10 yearlong war. The male character, hopelessly in love with this woman who should be his enemy, and the woman who is set to marry another. _It’s all very dramatic_ , Rey thinks. As she opens up to the page she has bookmarked, she wonders when she became so cynical. Reading these types of stories feels more like a chore than the enjoyable read that Finn had promised.

Rey buries her feet in the sand as she speed reads through the male characters internal monologue about how much he loves this woman he has only encountered twice; she rolls her eyes just a little. She closes her eyes, needing a break from all the sappiness, and when she opens them, she finds her eyes are met with Ben’s. _He’s just…staring_. It’s infuriating, and for the first time today she is thankful everyone else has retreated to the water to cool off.

“Please don’t look at me like that,” Rey says glaring right at Ben, who seems unphased by her rudeness.

“Why not?” He smiles at her softly and there is a deep tenor in his voice that makes her skin heat from the inside out, a warmth that has nothing to do with the sun beating down on her. 

“It makes me feel uncomfortable.” She says as she lifts the book to her face to block Ben from her vision. 

She hears him chuckle under his breath and she almost opens her mouth for a rebuttal, but she is cut off by Poe dramatically throwing himself in his beach chair next to her and shaking the water from his hair onto her.

“Poe please!” She shouts already annoyed from her strange exchange of words with Ben, “My book!”

“Oh my god, are you reading that book Finn told you about?” He rolls his eyes as he pulls the book from her hands and begins to theatrically read a passage, “And although I have only confronted this woman but twice, that she knows of, she is mistaken, for we grew up as children together. We would run through fields, swim in ponds; how unfortunate for her to have erased me from her memory. She is but all I have thought about since the day we parted 12 years ago.”

“Poe just give it back, _please_ ,” she says reaching across his body to try and grab the book from his far hand.

Poe laughs and hands her back the book, “That sounds absolutely ridiculous, you can’t be enjoying that.” He looks across at Ben, who had returned to his own novel, “Ben, tell me that isn’t the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard.”

Ben looks up from his book, appearing as if he had not been listening to their exchange, but Rey knew he was faking his look of confusion. Poe huffs jokingly and grabs his phone, presumably to text Finn to prove a point about Rey’s ‘silly’ book.

Their parents soon return as well with comments of how cold the water feels but how refreshing it feels after being in the sun for a few hours. Their regular chatter ensues, beers are passed around the set-up of beach chairs accompanied by a variety of bags of chips and other snacks. Poe of course claims an entire bag of hot Cheetos to himself, only to begin tossing them across the sand at Ben, who looks very unenthused by the action. 

Rey cannot help but admit that his frustration gives her a small sense of joy. It is kind of fun to see Ben so bothered by Poe. It is also nice to that Poe has another person to bother besides her. Ben flicks off the Cheetos Poe threw at him and buries them into the sand.

“Come on man, you're going to attract all the seagulls with this shit.” 

“You gotta lighten up buddy,” Poe winks at Leia who has been hiding a smile under her beach hat, “We’re on vacation!” He throws another Cheeto that hits Ben right between the brow. Even Rey laughs now, and she notices Ben’s face turn red with…well she is not quite sure if it’s with embarrassment or anger.

“I’m going to go for a walk.” She announces as she stands from her chair and surveys the direction of the sun that has slowly begun to slower. 

“Alone?” Her mother questions, raising an eyebrow concerningly, like she is some child who is going to get abducted on the beach and never see her family again.

“Oh my god, mom please I’m –”

“Why don’t you take Ben with you!” Leia chimes in happily, “You two have been stuck to those seats all afternoon with your books and boringness!”

“Mom I don’t think Rey wants –”

“Go ‘head Benny,” Leia smiles at him with her kindest mother eyes that even Rey is sure she would not be able to say no to. Ben obviously cannot fight it either, as he reluctantly closes his book and rises from his chair across from Rey. His shadow towers over her as he blocks the sun from her face. She takes a deep breath and tries to relieve the tension that has already building in her muscles.

“Fine, come on,” She huffs, heading off away from their family set up.

Sand is quiet and she can barely hear Ben follow behind her. After a few minutes of walking in mostly silence, she decides to speak.

“Is this as weird for you as it is for me?” A breeze blows and she adjusts her ponytail under her hat as to secure it from blowing away. 

“What? This walk or the entire trip thus far?”

“Both?” Rey questions slightly. She thinks she hears him chuckle at her side slightly under his breath. The sound does something to her – twists her stomach into knots – or butterflies? Rey is unsure.

A more peaceful silence ensues for a few minutes and Rey basks in the sun while cold waves occasionally lap at her feet. She stop frequently to pick up shells that catch her eye and thankfully Ben does not seem to mind, or at least he hasn’t _expressed_ that he minds. She spots something shining a few steps ahead and makes a quick run for it before the next wave is able to wash it away. 

“Rey what are you –”

She has already moved out of ear shot to be sure she does not lose what has captured her attention. When she reaches her point of purpose, she bends down, balancing on her calves, to retrieve a small piece of sea glass. She methodically rubs the sand off before she suddenly is hit by a small but powerful enough wave that causes her to lose balance and fall back onto her butt. Sea water splashes around her, spraying into her eyes and mouth. She is still holding tight to the sea glass and other collected items, as the wave recedes. Rey rubs her eyes to cleanse her vision and is surprised to look over and see Ben kneeling down next to her with the kindest eyes she has ever seen.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just a little saltwater!” She smiles as she picks another shell from the wet sand.

“Well,” Ben rolls his eyes as he extends his hand to help her up from the ground, “I hope whatever you found was worth it, you look like a mess.”

Her smile fades quickly at his comment of distaste for her enjoyment of collecting _and_ her appearance. 

“Oh no I didn’t mean it like –” Ben panics noticing Rey’s displeasure of his comment. His hand still uncomfortably extended.

“It’s fine,” She waves her hand in his face while getting herself up without assistance, “And it was worth it.” She holds up the small green smoothed glass in his face.

Ben lets out a small sigh as he plucks the green piece from her hand to examine it against the sun. “You always did love collecting things.” He gives her a soft smile that _slightly_ melts her anger at his misplaced comment. 

Ben holds the glass out in the palm of his hand, and it looks much smaller than it had in her own. She carefully picks it from his palm, careful to not touch his skin too much – like it would burn her if her fingers were to linger for too long. She softly smiles back. 

***

Their walk back is fairly quiet, but not quite the same type of quiet then experienced on the walk out. No, this was different. This felt peaceful. A purposeful quiet. 

Ben had offered to hold onto all of Rey’s collected shells in his bathing suit pocket when her hands eventually became overwhelmed. As they walk with the sun beating down on their backs, Rey thinks she feels Ben’s hand brush against hers. It’s fast, and could well have been her imagination, but the sensation sent a warm rush up her arm and into her chest. 

Rey catches herself smiling at the thought of walking on the beach holding Ben Solo’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I am so sorry this update took so long! I am finally finished with Nursing School!!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I am hoping for more free time to write now that I have ONE test to study for instead of 100!
> 
> As always, I love reading all your comments and feedback :)

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is a little short intro to the story! I hope you guys are liking the vibe!  
> Feel free to leave a comment :)  
> Come follow me and say hello on twitter @anpara4 !


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